Having external and internal confidence is an added benefit in life that is sexy and powerful, but it doesn't happen overnight. It takes constant awareness of one's self along with practice in social settings to achieve the level of confidence you're striving for. Below are 4 techniques that make you appear more confident inside and out.
1. Relaxed body language
When sitting down or talking to others, be sure to express a relaxed and wide-body posture. Spread yourself out as much as possible and avoid slouching. When walking from place to place, move freely and take your time with your head up and shoulders back. Doing so signals that you're not in a rush and that you are on your own time.
2. Being non-reactive
This technique is especially important because when you remain calm and unreactive in stressful situations, you're setting the frame for the conversation. When someone is able to set and hold the social "frame", they are the ones driving the discussion.
(For more information on frames check out "How to Master a Conversation by Controlling the Communication Framework")
Next time you're in a stressful situation or if someone is getting upset with you, remain calm and in control of your emotions. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Take your time when answering their questions. When you remain silent, it gives you time to think of the best response.
3. Remove filler words
Remove filler words entirely from your vocabulary. Be concise and clear with your words. Say what you mean. Adding filler words or "fluff" to your sentences signals weakness and inferiority.
Filler words include:
4. Begging or Convincing Others
Whether it's a relationship begging for someone back, a job or for a new client, don't ever beg. Ever. When you beg, you are giving up your power to that person or thing. Begging stems from the belief that you have to have something in order to be okay or happy. This simply isn't true. You must have the belief of abundance. You must be willing to walk away from that job if you believe that you deserve better pay. You must be able to walk away from your partner if you believe they are not treating you right.
Be able to express what you want and do not want and if your needs are not being met, be willing to walk away.
Bottom line: No matter what, you must develop the mindset that you'll be okay. When you believe this, you start to become more honest with yourself and others around you....that's a powerful thing.